Comments 10

Island life

Greetings from balmy Hawaii.

It’s been almost a year since I logged into this blog. It’s amazing to see that, while I was gone, honeythatsok lived on and averaged 30 views a day. It’s almost like a ghost story – past versions of my thoughts taking a stroll through other people’s present brain.

I think that’s why I never got around to publishing a book. I suffer from commitment phobia. I can’t stand the idea of permanence, especially within myself. A book is forever and it will be flawed, like me.

I played with the idea of writing a memoir. I wanted to call it ‘Untethered; life in the age of extinction’. I still might. It’s just pretentious enough for me, while also at the same time kind of sounding like a Transformers movie.

This is a very imperfect blog. I started it after I had earned my master’s degree in sustainability but before I really knew anything about what sustainability means. My terms and labels are all over the place. There are unfinished ideas and vague concepts; I was always trying to grasp at something just outside my reach.

I think that also describes our culture perfectly. Our terms and labels are always behind, unable to define what is actually going on until we can look back in hindsight and say it was so obvious all along.

It’s obvious to me that this blog was a bridge between who I was and who I have become. I know my terms and labels now. I know where I’ve been and where I am going.

I wasn’t able to document the journey I took. I regret that now, but it was very painful, feeling so lost for so long. Years. I shone in my 20’s only to have the light go out so hard in my 30’s, I thought it would never end. But it makes sense. Maybe we are supposed to construct new versions of ourselves every ten years or so, but I didn’t know that.

But here’s the crazy thing. I also wouldn’t change any of it.

It was clear my path was going to be environmentalism. That’s the hardware. I care, so deeply, about climate science, climate politics and climate economy, which is really just human politics and human economy, re-imagined. But I also care about mental health. That’s the software. I care about mental health in the age of extinction. I don’t know a whole lot of other people that do. I can’t name them off the top of my head. So that would be what they call a competitive advantage. I can be a mental health counselor for climate change trauma to prevent people to be stuck like me.

Which means I’m back in school, community college this time. I love it. I feel stressed but alive. I feel slightly more tethered, and able to write again.

After the bombshell IPCC report that came out last week I can’t seem to stop writing. We have 12 years to fundamentally transform the way humans live on this planet.

So, game on. Put me in, coach. I’m ready.


  1. Ha you and me both. You inspire me to keep at it. I don’t write much anymore either. Glad you’re back :)

    • Thank you! I’m feeling really inspired right now but who knows how long it will last, haha ;) Part of my strategy is to write shorter, more spontaneous posts. I tend to feel better about those, and they carry less pressure to be perfect and have ‘perfect’ opinions all the time. That’s exhausting!

    • Thank you! I’m so excited to be back :) I’ve really missed this small sense of community we have through each other’s words and musings <3

  2. I actually think that the human race is doomed to bring about its own distinction (and in so doing, rid this beautiful planet of a harmful parasite). But at the same time, it’s crucial that those of us who appreciate the danger do everything we can to avoid it. You never know. And if we fail, then at least we’ll be going down in a blaze of glory. When I read this post I felt as though I was witnessing a gladiator going into battle, carrying all our colours – good luck!

    • Oh man, this comment made me feel really cool – thank you!

      I’m completely of two minds on this. Cynically, I can see nothing changing until 2030 when mass migration, war, poverty, sea level rise and extreme weather decimate the planet and by 2100 there is only a handful of humans left, if that. Which is not a bad outcome for the planet which will regenerate in a couple of million years and maybe give rise to new species for the reminder of the 1-2 billion years the planet has left before being roasted by the sun. But I can also see a future where humans live sustainability, with plenty of free time to grow food locally and care for each other, freed from the tyranny of paid labor. I honestly don’t care about the outcome as much as what I can do with my short time of existence, and fighting for the latter outcome seems like the only worthwhile thing to do with my time and the best way to channel my passion – ultimately, it’s a self-serving way to feel good about myself, ha ;)

      I would like to save the snow leopards, though, they are majestic 😍

      I’m glad you’re still on wordpress, I really appreciate your encouragement and point of view!

  3. Interesting read – good to know you have discovered a renewed version of yourself (a word to the wise – it keeps happening! I am now a little way into my eight decade and it’s still happening – so just go with the flow!) As I have said elsewhere the fact that the IPCC has now chosen to ‘press the panic button’ actually now frees environmental campaigners like you and me to say this is what weneed to do first – instead of having to BE the harbingers of doom. Keep in touch. I think you followed my blog too.

    • Thank you for this very insightful comment. Mental health and self-reflection is so important – but it means little without action and implementation, which I guess was my lesson to learn in my 30’s. And even though it was hard, I’m happy to have learned it.

      I absolutely agree with your second point about feeling more freed as an environmentalist by the IPCC report. I feel like the time for “defending” our point of view is over and now we can just refer to this intergovernmental report if people still want to debate climate change. That frees up so much time for actual ideas about how to move forward – which is a huge part of my renewed surge of determination. We might not “win” or prevent catastrophic climate change, but that doesn’t make the struggle any less worthwhile.

      I look forward to continue reading your ideas!

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